You know the old saying, “Youth is wasted on the young”?
I think about that sometimes – how I wish I’d had the self-awareness and confidence that I have now.
I wasted way too much time on worrying about little things that didn’t matter.
I simply didn’t know better.
I guess “life lessons” are called that for a reason. You need to experience life in order to learn the lessons.
And the more life you experience, the more lessons you’ll learn. Some of these lessons will be tough, but the harder they are, the more beautiful they’ll make life eventually be.
1) You control your own happiness.
The way we see and perceive our lives is the main driver for the way we think. In turn, the way we think affects our self-talk.
If every day you see your reality and your responsibilities as negative things you don’t want to do, the way you talk about them in your head is going to fuel this negativity.
By simply changing one word in the way you describe your responsibilities or your activities, from “have to” to “get to,” your perspective can have a major shift.
By taking steps to change your mindset, you can switch up your self-talk to be more positive and soon start experiencing life with positivity coming from inside of you, rather than based on situations.
2) All benefits come with costs
A good way to tell if you really want something in your life is by asking yourself if you’re willing to endure the hardship or the challenge of what it takes to get that thing. And not just endure it once, but sometimes consistently.
For example, you want to start a business and make lots of money. However, are you willing to endure the long days with little reward at the beginning, the sleepless nights worrying, the responsibility of looking for clients or customers, hiring and firing?
If not, then maybe this isn’t what you want.
Another question that can help is “where will I be next year based my routines and daily actions?” If you are just planning something but never acting on it, you will never get there. It takes daily work to achieve your goals.
3) You can’t have everything
It is important to identify what it is in your life that you absolutely need, and what you just sort of want. This ties into letting perfection drive you to work excessively to get things that don’t really matter in the long haul. By being flexible about your wants versus your needs in life, you can live a more balanced and realistic life.
4) Your fantasies hurt you more than help you
Fantasies about the world can be seen in many ways. Most commonly, fantasies about expectations, what “should” be, our fantasies about how others see us, our fantasies that cause us to waste time in the past or future instead of the now, our anxious fantasies about potential situations, failure, and the things that won’t get accomplished are time wasters and stress producers. By staying present you can avoid these fantasies and live more productively with less stress.
5) Everything has limits
The time that we spend here on earth, doing certain things, in certain relationships, and experiencing certain things is limited. By accepting that you can’t change your own limitations, or the limitations of others, you can truly open yourself to enjoying what is.
6) Some relationships will end (and should)
Not everyone you let into your life will be kind, trustworthy, or honest. However, by having relationships with people who betray you, whether it be a friend or lover, you can use those experiences to make different choices in the future. Remember that some people come into your life to teach you something. Let it be what it is.
7) Be authentic
It may be hard to “live in your truth” and stand up for your authentic needs, desires, and happiness. However, it is much harder to hide it and pretend to be someone you’re not. By being authentic and
caring for yourself in that way, you will draw like-minded people into your life and you will be able to live the life you were meant for.
Originally published on Hack Spirit.